Money vs. Romance? eharmony Survey Reveals Daters Prioritize Finance, Backed by Yahoo Finance Insights
Is modern love for sale — or simply being prioritized less? A compelling survey by eharmony and cited by outlets like Yahoo Finance and DatingNews reveals that many daters now choose financial well-being over romantic pursuits. With inflation soaring, rent skyrocketing, and uncertain economic stability, it’s no wonder people are becoming more selective with their hearts and wallets.
This shift in dating behavior isn’t a fluke — the data is clear. A full 75% of respondents in eharmony’s most recent survey said they’d rather meet their financial goals than find “the one.” In this blog post, we’ll uncover why this trend matters, how it’s affecting the dating app industry, and what it says about the lifestyle and values of today’s daters.
The eharmony Survey That Sparked a Conversation
eharmony’s “Dating Diaries” survey, conducted in partnership with You Need A Budget (YNAB), polled thousands of American singles. The results? People across generational lines are rethinking how they approach relationships.
Some of the most eye-opening stats include:
- 75% of respondents said they would prioritize money over romantic aspirations.
- 26% would turn down a date if it exceeded their budget.
- 45% of women wouldn’t spend more than $60/month on dating.
The survey found that practical considerations — like pay, debt, and overall financial health — are replacing passion-driven decisions. This isn’t just about skipping a few expensive dinners. It’s a fundamental reevaluation of how modern relationships are formed.
What’s Driving the Shift? 3 Real-World Pressures Changing How People Date
In today’s economic landscape, the shift away from romance toward financial security is more than just a trend — it’s a reflection of real-world pressure. Let’s explore the three major factors influencing modern daters.
1. Financial Anxiety and Rising Expenses
From gas prices to grocery bills, Americans are facing escalating expenses. For young adults just entering the workforce, it’s even harder to justify spending large amounts on a single date. Many now say they would rather put that money toward rent, debt, or investments.
As financial concern grows, people are becoming more pragmatic about their dating lives. Rather than indulging in lavish outings, they’re seeking comfortable, low-cost ways to connect that align with their current budget.
2. Career Over Courtship
The hustle culture is alive and well, especially among millennials and Gen Z. According to eharmony’s data, over 80% of respondents in these age groups would choose career advancement over entering a relationship.
Many respondents note that working longer hours leaves little time or energy for dating. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Some argue that establishing financial stability early offers a better foundation for a lasting relationship in the future.
3. New Norms in Online Dating
The era of online dating has changed more than just how we meet — it has redefined what we value. In the past, dating apps focused on chemistry, photos, and proximity. Now, users want more, especially transparency around finances.
App profiles are starting to feature discussions about financial goals, spending habits, and even credit scores. While this may seem transactional, it’s a sign that people are thinking long-term and viewing dating as a serious investment.
Red Flags, Green Flags, and Pink Flags in Financial Dating
According to Rachel Wong, a financial counselor featured in the original eharmony and YNAB article, modern daters are developing a framework to assess potential partners:
- Green Flags: High credit scores, savings accounts, and minimal debt. These indicators signal financial stability and long-term compatibility.
- Red Flags: Back taxes, defaulted loans, and missing payments are deal-breakers for many. These behaviors can suggest concern about future financial strain.
- Pink Flags: Slightly worrying but not disqualifying, like high spending on luxury items or an overly casual approach to budgeting.
This categorization gives people a practical list of what to look for — and what to avoid — before committing to a relationship.
How Much Should a Relationship Cost?
Here’s a question few were asking ten years ago: What’s the cost of falling in love?
According to the survey, many are capping their dating budgets at less than $100/month:
- 45% of women won’t go over $60
- 66% won’t spend more than $120 on travel for dating
- 90% won’t exceed $200 monthly in total dating costs
In the past, spending was seen as a gesture of affection. Now, it’s viewed as a measure of lifestyle compatibility. If your idea of a good time is five-star sushi and theirs is Netflix and leftovers, the odds of becoming a couple may shrink.
This also explains the rising popularity of budget-conscious dating apps, where users can connect for free or at a low cost.
Gen Z and Millennials: How Their Dating Lives Are Changing
Millennials and Gen Z are reshaping the way Americans think about love. While older generations may still see romance as a necessary component of happiness, younger daters are more pragmatic.
According to the survey, the point of dating has changed. It’s no longer solely about emotional connection — it’s about alignment on life goals, financial compatibility, and long-term planning.
For example:
- 95% of Gen Z say convenience and personal time matter most in dating
- 93% of millennials value “fit with my lifestyle” more than chemistry
These aren’t cold calculations — they’re strategic choices. As these generations mature, their approach to relationships may shift again, but for now, they’re making love work on their own terms.
Is Instant Gratification Undermining Modern Dating?
With the rise of apps and short-form content, our attention spans are shrinking — and so is our patience. eharmony’s survey found that over half of Gen Z and millennials believe the desire for instant gratification has caused people to put less effort into forming connections.
Some even view online dating as entertainment rather than a genuine relationship builder. The “swipe culture” often reduces humans to profiles, photos, and one-liners. Without depth, there’s no drive to invest time, energy, or money.
To combat this, experts suggest slowing down the process. Ask meaningful questions early. Discuss values. Be clear about your financial goals and expectations. And yes, be willing to walk away if your values don’t align.
What This Means for the Future of Dating Apps and Platforms
The dating industry is listening. From eharmony to Bumble, platforms are evolving to match the lives and values of their users.
Features to expect include:
- Budget-based match filtering
- Tags for financial preferences or red flags
- Low-cost subscription models to match users’ expectations
These changes are helping apps stay competitive while also helping people find better matches, based on compatibility, not just attraction.
As we move forward, expect more integration of data-driven tools that balance romance with realism.
So, Can Love Still Win in a World Focused on Finances?
The answer is yes, but it looks different than it used to. Today’s couples want trust, communication, and yes, a stable financial foundation.
Rather than seeing this shift as cynical, think of it as evolution. We’re maturing, as people and as a culture. We understand that love isn’t just about butterflies — it’s about budgets, too.
Final Thoughts: Helping Daters Find Balance Between Love and Lifestyle
The truth is that daters today aren’t shallow — they’re strategic. They’ve learned to value emotional compatibility alongside shared financial values. They know that money matters — not because it’s romantic, but because it’s realistic.
To thrive in today’s dating world, we must:
- Be transparent about our financial values
- Use apps that align with our goals
- Redefine what intimacy and comfort mean
- Prioritize emotional intelligence and shared ambition
Whether you’re using eharmony, another app, or meeting someone the old-fashioned way, the modern relationship isn’t just built on chemistry — it’s built on clarity.
