In dating, just like in a lot of other cases, first impressions mean a lot. For a lot of people the very first impression on the very first date is basically a deal breaker in terms of whether they want to see that person again. There are loads of ‘tips and tricks’ handed out to men when they go on dates with a girl but they don’t ever seem to work. Chalking it all up to ‘women are complicated’ and blowing past your errors will not help you avoid making the same mistakes again, sometimes you simply have to realise that you might be a part of the issue.
In reality, there are hundreds of little details that a woman can consider significant that some men simply shrug off as not important. And while most of this is extremely subjective, and relaxing, being yourself and trying to have a good time will be your main pointers, there are still certain things that you can keep in mind.
Your Appearance
Let’s be honest, first impressions are often made on the basis of appearance. Sure, looking at the inner beauty of a person is preached by almost everyone, but all of that takes time. The moment you will say “Hi!” to each other, you will both note things about the way the other person looks, and this first judgement might go a long way in deciding whether you even get to meet again.
While getting ready for a date, put some thought into choosing your clothes and try to dress according to your personality and the type of date this will most likely be. This doesn’t mean wearing the loudest clothes you own or adding every accessory you can think of. Pick one or two elements for your look that you think to tell a little something about yourself. It could be your shirt, your shoes, your watch, even your hairstyle.
The effort you put into getting ready can be seen by the lady at the first glance. The formula is simple: a well put-together outfit implies that you invested some effort and thought into the date, which implies that you care and wish to make a good impression, which gets you brownie points.
Also, the fact that you can dress up for an occasion is always a plus. Looking shabby, disheveled, and not wearing date-appropriate clothes is not a good way to start off your night.
Conversation Skills
This is kind of a no-brainer, conversations are what carry first dates. Your conversing skills depend on your personality, body language, mannerisms, and all the other little details. Your personality reflects who you are as a person, and that’s what matters. Your personality is not going to change overnight, and you shouldn’t try to do that anyway. The problem with first dates is that guys tend to either get nervous or overconfident, and both options might be equally bad.
Try to keep those nerves from acting up and be yourself. Overthinking everything is not ideal, and you might end up living the night inside of your head. You have to remember that most people are kind of anxious on first dates. So, chances are, if you are scared about saying or doing the wrong thing, so is the person in front of you.
The best way to push past the awkwardness is by trying to hold a conversation. Use an icebreaker to find common ground. Talk about different things- food, your jobs, your favorite football team, or a movie.
Remember to ask questions and respond to what she says to show her you’re interested. A good listener is easy to spot and is appreciated. Light and breezy conversations are perfect to get things going and break the tension around you two. The added benefit is you get comfortable and your personality comes into its own.
The little things like asking follow-up questions, or making a light-hearted joke, keeping eye-contact, being polite, having good table manners, and the way you treat others around you may seem like minuscule details at the moment. But, they all add up to form that first date judgment. The small details are important. They convey confidence. Being sure, funny, and relaxed in turn makes the person you are with comfortable around you, which is a sign you are doing good, and that counts as a good first impression.
